State of Mind
by speedfanatic05
Summary: Calleigh survived captivity, but can she survive the attack on her mind? A sequel to Desired Effect. SC
1. Chapter 1

State of Mind

Disclaimer: The meanies at CBS own the characters that are familiar. I own the ones that are not familiar. Mild language warning.

Summary: Calleigh survives but, can she survive the attack on her mind?

Chapter 1

Six months later

_She gazed at herself in the full mirror , and for the first time in what felt like forever, she smiled. The gown was gorgeous the day was perfect. She was going to marry him today. She strode to the door with her bouquet in hand and opened it.. Walking to the sanctuary, she heard the beautiful melodies of the wedding music as it played. Stopping at the closed doors, she gathered her breath and closed her eyes. She pushed the heavy doors open and instead of happy well wishers , she saw as people where holding their head down, crying. She was unable to see the pulpit through her veil, so she lifted it up. Why are all these people crying , she thought. Walking down the aisle, she heard a voice echo through the church._

_" Friends, we come here today to celebrate the life of Timothy James Speedle. He was a compassionate man, who loved to fight for what was right. He was sadly cut down in the prime of his life..."_

_No, she thought, he can't be dead._

_She picked up the long train and made her way to the front of the church. She stopped in her tracks as she saw the mahogany casket, surrounded by white lilies. Inside , she could see him, his eyes closed and his hands folded He was dead. _

_She backed up , not believing her eyes. She had to get away. As she turned , she heard a familiar voice, " Calleigh, I've been waiting for you. It's so lonely here. Won't you come and stay with me...For eternity?"_

_She saw Therrin as she remembered him, crazed look in his eyes , his body filled with bullet holes. He reached out to grab her, and she screamed at his touch..._

" Whoa, whoa , Calleigh! Wake up! Calleigh!", Speed said shielding himself from the wild blows.

Calleigh stopped flailing at the sound of his voice. She opened her eyes, thankful that he was here. She grabbed his neck roughly, pulling him to her. Speed felt her as her body caved under the sobs.

" Shhh,it's okay, babe. It wasn't real. It was another nightmare," he said trying to calm her. Every since she had gotten out of the hospital she had been having the nightmares. Each night, they seemed to be getting worse.

" It' seemed so real, Tim. You were in that casket. Dead," Calleigh said into his neck. She felt the warmness of his skin as he held her tightly.

" Well, I'm right here, and I'm not leaving. Not when we have company coming in three more months," he replied touching her swollen stomach. Calleigh had survived her captivity and by a miracle, the pregnancy was unharmed. He pulled her away from him and looked into her green eyes. " He can't do anything to you. He's gone. He can't hurt you anymore,Calleigh."

Calleigh looked into his chocolate eyes, losing herself in them, and sighed, " I know he's dead. But it seems like he is still stalking me. I can't shake this feeling, Tim. This feeling of being watched."

Tim craddled her head in his palms, " I'm watching you Calleigh. I am the only one. Now, since you are up..."

" Breakfast?" Calleigh asked with a light smile on her lips.

" Yes. I got to be at work in an hour," Speed said kissing her on the forehead before getting up and going to the bathroom. Calleigh saw the red scar where the bullet exited his chest, and felt a twinge of guilt. _He almost died,_she thought.

Thankful that he didn't, Calleigh exhaled deeply and pulled the covers off of her legs, swinging them over the bed. She felt the cast as it pulled the blood down to her ankle. She looked at it, her mind taking her back to the room. The body. She felt goosebumps rise on her neck as the horrid details played in slow motion. Her grip on the covers tightened and she began to breath heavily. She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing ,but it was no use. Her eyes shot open and she stared out .

" Cal, can you make wa— Calleigh!" Speed exclaimed as he rushed over to her. She was having another panic attack. He laid her down on the bed and fumbled through the drawer for the doctor's phone number. He found it and punched in the number on his cell phone.

" Dr. Matthews? This is Tim Speedle. It's Calleigh. She's having another panic attack."

TBC...

Sorry it's so short, but I had a slight attack of writer's block. Let me know what you think about it so far.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't know much about psychology, so I'm basically winging it. Forgive me in advance if there is any thing done in error. Oh... I still don't own a soul ,and of course the unknowns are mine.

Chapter 2

Speed looked into the room through the glass seeing Calleigh sitting on the bench. He worried about her so much now. Since the kidnaping, the strong southern belle had retreated into herself. She always looked as she felt uneasy with herself. It showed through her walk, her appearances as well as in the way she talked. The chipper Calleigh was long gone, and in her place was a nervous , unsure phantom.

He watched her for a moment longer as she pulled her hair behind her ear. She had lost most of her length during the ordeal, it being shredded by the late Therrin Mackenzie. It took Speed almost two weeks to get her to go to a stylist to correct it. In the end, despite all of her protest, Speed won. It took some getting used to , but he was becoming fond of the new look. Feeling a presence behind him, Speed turned around to face the doctor.

" Mr. Speedle, Calleigh's fine now, but there is something that I think you need to know,"the doctor said in a serious tone.

" What is it?"

" I think that Calleigh is suffering from post stress disorder. The panic attacks, the nightmares, it's all indicative of this disorder. Unfortunately , since she is six months pregnant, I can't prescribe anything to help her. So , in saying that, I think that you need to take her away from here. She's still too close to the incident, everything around her reminds her about what happened. I cannot say this enough, keep her stress free. She's in her second trimester, I don't want her to suffer any complications."

Speed took all of this information in. She was being tormented in her mind._ Damn that man,_ Speed thought to himself. He had took everything away from her and left her with nothing but doubts and fears.

" Is there anything more that I can do, Dr. Matthews?"

" Watch her. Carefully. Usually as the disorder accelerates, paranoia starts to kick in. But I'm hoping that this won't be the case for her," Dr . Matthews replied giving a comforting smile.

" Thanks, Dr. Matthews," Speed returned offering his hand. He then turned back to the door and smiled lightly. No matter what the cost, he would be there for her.

S/C

" So are you going to tell me what the two of you were talking about," Calleigh asked lightly. She had felt a million times better after talking to Dr. Matthews.

" Nothing really. Except maybe how I should take you away from here for a while,"Speed said feeling a pang of guilt. He didn't want her to get upset about the doctor's diagnosis. " I think that it is a good idea."

" What?" Calleigh said turning her head to face him. " Tim, you just got back to work almost two weeks ago. I don't think that Horatio could spare you, being that I'm out of commission for god knows how long. I can't see how it is feasible."

" I just want you to get better is all, baby. Since the kidnaping..."

" Since the kidnaping, what?" Calleigh asked, fire burning in her eyes.

" You haven't been yourself. You have these god forsaken nightmares, and you are always paranoid about anyone watching you," Speed replied ,noticing as his tone had taken a darker note.

" How about you try being stalked , kidnaped , held hostage for six weeks and beaten and let's see how you fare out. I'm trying my best to get over it, but I don't have the 'I don't care' attitude that you've been blessed with. I'm...trying Tim." Calleigh said as the tears came down.

Speed stopped the SUV and turned to her. How he hated to see this woman cry. He held her face in his hand and caressed her cheek, " I know ,honey. That's why I want to take you away from here for a while. I want you back together again."

Calleigh touched his hand lightly and looked into his eyes. The love that she saw there, cooled her temper . She would follow this man to the ends of the earth if he asked her, " Maybe we could find time to get married while we are away."

" So you want to go?" Speed asked moving closer to her , feeling the need to be close, to protect her.

" Book the flight. I'll go if you want me to, Tim. I love you."

"I love you," Speed replied as he pulled her face closer. He could smell the new shampoo that she was using. He smiled lightly as he grazed his lips on hers, igniting passion between them. He pulled away from her to see her with a wicked smile on her face.

" Get us home, quickly," she said as she sat back . She felt the need to give herself to him at that very moment. Without a thought, Speed obeyed orders and sped home, running every red light on the way.

S/C

_He saw them as they got out of the black Tahoe and smiled to himself. " They're home", he said barely audible. " Time to make an appearance"_

S/C

Getting to the house, Calleigh could not contain herself, she pounced on him as he closed the door to the Tahoe. She kissed him hard forcing him backwards as he locked the door. He walked backwards while trying to keep physical contact with her, stumbling over the two stairs. As he moved to unlock the door, Calleigh pulled hungrily at his jacket. Then in an instant, she stopped. Speed noticed as her attention had suddenly focused on something else.

" Cal, what is it?"

" Did you hear something?"Calleigh said as her head twitched slightly. She had let go of him.

" No, I didn't. There's nothing there, Calleigh. C'mon let's go in."

" I heard something, Tim! I'm not crazy, someone is out there," Calleigh said in a whisper, pointing in the direction of the street with her walking cane.

Speed looked out into the neighborhood, there was noone insight, not even a passing car. He sighed loudly, feeling his frustration gather inside of him, " There is nothing out here Calleigh."

" Tim, please , take my word for it, there is someone here."

" You want me to check it out, Calleigh," he asked, slowly getting angrier.

" Please."

" Okay, I'll check," Speed replied as he walked out to the middle of the yard. He then walked further out into the street and motioned around. " See ? Nothing!" he shouted. He returned to her side in a huff. " Satisfied?"

" Yes, I am. Thank you. You could be a little less patronizing to me though," she said as she started to walk again. She stopped again, " Tim, I know you heard that. How could you not have heard that?"

Speed glared at her and unlocked the door, he had enough. " Dammit , Calleigh, there's no one out there. But if you rather spend the day watching for phantom sounds then be my guess. I'll be in the house."

Calleigh shot him a look of hurt and said " Well you don't have to be so pissy about it. I heard something out there, Speed."

She had called him 'Speed' and she only did that when she was angry at him. He softened his look and spoke lighter, "I'm sorry honey. Come in the house and we can talk about it. I didn't mean to be an ass about it. Forgive me?"

" Yeah sure," Calleigh said her southern accent thickening. " You admitted to being an ass, I can mete out forgiveness."

Speed let the smile come back and held his hand out to help her up the steps. He felt in his heart that something had to be done, and quickly. He didn't know how much their relationship could take, but he was willing to fight for it. He wasn't going to give up on her.

TBC...

I gotta tell you, this is the hardest story for me to write. This writer's block is kicking my tail. Forgive me for making Tim kind of a jerk in this one... He's worn out and stressed.:)


	3. Chapter 3

State of Mind Chapter3

Disclaimer: It gets repetitious , but I don't own them, I'll never own them. There are a few names that are mine. Mild language warning.

Chapter 3

" You want me to do what?" Horatio asked sitting from his desk. He was in the middle of budget reports, and not in the mood for anything.

" Let me have the month off. I'll use up any time that I have left, and I promise that I will double up on the case load as soon as I come back," Speed said as he shifted his weight in the office chair. He had come to Horatio to ask for the time to take Calleigh on a vacation. So far it wasn't looking very good for him.

" I know that you want to help her Tim, but I'm stressed to the limit here. You just got back from sick leave , and we aren't even caught up on the cases that exist now. I don't know if I can stretch this..."

" H, it's for a good reason. I'm going to marry her while we are gone," Speed pleaded.

Horatio sat back and closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He then opened his eyes again," Marry? Have you told Alexx that you plan on eloping?"

Speed looked at him sheepishly and shook his head, " I can't tell her something, until I know for sure."

Horatio handed the phone that was sitting on his desk to Speed, " You might want to call her to give her a date."

" You going to give it to me?"

" Yes , on one condition though," Horatio said as he narrowed his gaze. " The minute you set foot in Miami, you come straight here."

" When I get back, I'll set my bed up in the trace lab," Speed exclaimed happily. He got up to leave the office, turning slightly. " You know that Calleigh will want you there. All of you. Can you see if you can swing a day or two off for the rest of the team?"

" I'll see what miracles I can perform. Go have fun," Horatio said grinning as he looked back at the budget reports. He could use a break from this for a day.

Speed opened the door and walked out of Horatio's office. He headed back to trace to finish up on some reports. He couldn't wait to tell Calleigh.

S/C

Walking in to the kitchen, Calleigh yawned heavily and stretched her arms up. She had spent the better part of the morning sleeping, and she finally felt as if she could get up and function. Being pregnant was taking a toll on her physically as well as mentally. She had felt Tim's frustration about her paranoia, but she couldn't help it. She always felt as if someone was watching her. Even in the house, she didn't feel like she was alone. She made attempts to tell herself that there was noone in the house, but still the same, she kept her gun where she could get to it.

Opening, the drawer, she glanced into it to make sure that it was still there. She felt like a meek little mouse, afraid of even the most innocent noises.

" I'm such a freak," Calliegh said aloud. Her voice echoed through the empty house. She felt uneasy, even though she was still staring at the gun, even though the door was bolt locked, she was petrified. Feeling the tension coming in her limbs, she tried to breathe deeply. She closed her eyes to enhance the relaxation, focusing on Speed and how much he loved her. When she opened her eyes she saw a horrific image. Therrin was standing in front of her holding his hand out for her._ It's not real ,he's dead,_ Calliegh thought to herself. She closed her eyes and repeated the mantra over in her mind. _It's not real, It's not real, It's not real , It's not real..._

_" _Calleigh?"

_It's not real , it's not real , it's not real..._

" Calleigh!"

She opened her eyes and saw Speed standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

" Calleigh, what's going on ? Are you ok?" Speed asked hesitantly.

" I thought he was here, Tim. I did what the doctor said, I closed my eyes and breathed deeply and he disappeared," Calleigh said quietly trying to hold back the tears. She felt as if her whole world was fading, and all that remained was fear. " I feel like I'm losing control, Tim. Every little thing scares me. What am I going to do? I don't want everyone to think that I'm going crazy."

" You are not crazy, Cal. You are traumatized, and pregnant. What you need is time away from here. I just so happen to have two tickets in my truck for the Carribean. Flight leaves in two hours, so you need to get a move on," Speed said as he grabbed her shoulders lightly, smiling, " Honey, you are going to be okay. You–_we_ need to get away."

Calleigh leaned into him sighing deeply. She wrapped her arms around his waist and tightened her grip. She could hold on to him, he was tangible. She began to cry into his chest, feeling overwhelmed by all that was going on with her. Then she felt a little kick in her stomach.

" Oh!" she exclaimed, letting Speed go. She put a hand on her belly as the kick came again.

"Tim, she's kicking." Calleigh took his hand into hers and guided it to the place where the kick was felt. She smiled warmly to herself, feeling this life develop inside of her.

Speed looked up at Calleigh in amazement, a smile tickling around the corners of his mouth. He loved this woman for who she was, and for giving him a chance to be a father. He would offer her the chance to heal and become whole again.

" I love you, Calleigh. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

" Love is something, I am sure of, Tim. But my sanity , it seems , is shaky at best. I want to reclaim my life. I'm tired of being scared. I'm tired of my mind telling me things that are not true," Calleigh said softly as she gazed into his eyes. " Can you help me, do this Tim? Help me to find myself again?" The plea for life that Calleigh had made her even more vulnerable. She entered into his embrace again, seeking shelter in the arms that could love her.

TBC...

A/N: It's taking me sometime to get this out. I am suffering really bad to put something out. This damn writer's block! ARRRGH! Thanks for hanging in there with me.:)


	4. Chapter 4

State of Mind

Disclaimer: In the first three chapters, nothing's changed. Mild language.

Chapter 4

The breeze felt good as it whipped around her body. She had come out to the deserted beach to think and sort things out . Being in this serene place had helped her to relax ,and she felt as the stress started to fall off of her shoulders and sighed with relief. They had been on the island for almost two weeks and Calleigh felt as if she never wanted to leave. Here, she didn't worry about old ghosts that haunted her. She felt a little like her old self again. As she watched the sun set over the calm waters, she smiled to herself, feeling familiar arms encase her from behind.

" What are you thinking about?" Speed whispered into her ear.

" How I never want to leave. It's so peaceful here," Calleigh said as she placed her hands over his.

" If they have openings in their CSI lab, I can make that happen," Speed replied as he nuzzled her ear. He could stay like this forever, holding the woman who meant everything to him.

Intoxicated by his presence and the feel of the moment, Calleigh turned to face him, smiling wide, " You'd do that? Just up and move , leave everything behind?"

" If it meant your happiness, of course I would. Calleigh, I love you so much that it hurts. To make you happy, is like winning the jackpot. Ok, well not quite winning the jackpot," Speed said as Calleigh slapped him playfully across his arm. " I'm kidding. Seriously, Cal I want you to be insanely happy."

" Tomorrow I will be," Calleigh said gazing into his warm brown eyes. She then leaned forward to kiss him. Speed bent to receive her and took her in a passionate embrace, his love over riding everything that was in him. As he released Calleigh from the kiss he looked up and saw somebody watching them. Calleigh followed his gaze to the figure standing in the distance. It couldn't be. " Tim,..."

Speed continued to watch the man as he turned to walk away, " Calleigh , I see him." He couldn't believe his eyes. He could've sworn that he had just seen Therrin watching them. Speed started walking towards the man, noticing as the man picked up his pace. He pursued the man, down the beach, kicking up sand behind him. The man sped up , leaving Speed behind, in the process , dropping something. Speed gave up the chase and walked to where the item was. Bending down, he pulled his shirt off and used it to pick it up. He then walked back to Calliegh, his mind screaming. _It couldn't be, he's dead, _he thought.

Getting back to Calleigh, he saw as the serene , peaceful look had been replaced with the look of fear. Speed cursed to himself as he noticed the big tear drops that were falling from her eyes. She had been so calm before, but now she was back where she started. He held her , feeling the sobs that came heavily. He walked her back to the bungalow holding her by the waist. He didn't want her to know what he had picked up. She was worried enough.

As they prepared for bed, Speed continued to notice as Calleigh became more and more detached. She had not said a word since coming from the beach. He looked for signs of an impending panic attack, but he didn't see any. All he saw was sadness. He walked over to Calleigh as she sat on the edge of the bed, staring into nothing. Her green eyes were wide with somberness.

" Cal,..."

"I thought that I was getting away from all of this, but it managed to find me," she said softly. A tear dropped on her hand. " At least, you saw him too, Tim. I don't feel so crazy now."

" Calleigh , it was probably someone just trying to get a rise for himself," Speed lied. He knew what and who he had seen. " There is no need for you to worry."

" You are an awful liar, Timothy Speedle. I can feel in my heart that it was him," Calleigh replied wiping the tears as they fell.

" Cal, Therrin Mackinize is dead. He is six feet deep somewhere in Miami. That was not him," Speed said as he placed a comforting hand on her leg. " What is it going to take for you to see that?"

" For this to stop happening. If it's not Therrin, then who the hell is it? And why are they watching me?" Calleigh said as her voice rose with her temperament. " I want to be able to go out, without looking behind me every three seconds. Dammit, I'm tired of living this way!"

Calleigh's anger boiled over the surface and she picked up the lamp and threw it. Speed watched her as she got up and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. He then followed her, knocking softly on the door.

" Cal, come out. You don't have to hide in there. We can talk about this. Calleigh?" Speed said as he laid his head against the door jamb. This was not the way he wanted to spend the night before the wedding. " We are getting married tomorrow , right?"

Calleigh opened the door,her eyes brimmed in tears, " You're not having second thoughts , are you?"

"Nope. But , I did want you to come out of the bathroom, and here you are," Speed said plastering a big smile on his face. Calleigh wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled. He knew how to lighten her spirits. " I can't cancel, Horatio and the others are supposed to land in about two hours."

Calleigh walked out of the bathroom and wrapped her arms around Speed. She always felt better after holding him.

"I'm sorry, Tim."

" There's no need to be sorry, Cal. You've been through a traumatic time in your life, you're allowed some time to 'freak out'. It took me some time but , I finally understand that it is going to take time for you to heal from this. It may take weeks, months , even years. But one thing is certain; I'm going to be with you every step of the way," Speed replied as Calleigh laid her head against his chest. She looked up at him, seeing the weariness in his eyes. It stung her somewhat to know that she was the cause of this. She glanced at the ground, her throat tightening with emotion. Speed lifted her chin to look her in the eyes, " I'm ok, sweetie. So don't blame yourself for what you see in my face."

" Tim, I-..." Calleigh started before hearing the phone ring. Speed withdrew from Calleigh and walked to the phone looking at his watch.

" Hello?"

" You better keep an eye out for her. You never know who's watching."

" Who is this?"

" A friend."

" Of whose?"

" Therrin."

" Who are you?"Speed asked getting angry. He gripped the phone in his hand and glanced at Calleigh. " What do you want?"

" Her. Therrin didn't get to finish what he started, so I'm going to take up his slack," the voice said before the line went dead.

Speed eyed the phone as if it would jump out and snap at him. Then he roughly put it back on the hook. Calleigh had sat on the bed and had begun to cry again. Speed crossed the bed to get to her and sat behind her. He caressed her shoulders , feeling her soft skin under his hands. He wanted all of this over for her, but he knew that this was not going anywhere soon.

S/C

" Tim, get the phone," Calleigh said groggily as the phone rang incessantly. She had finally fallen asleep after letting her tears drop again. The phone continued to ring. " Tim?"

Calleigh turned over and put her arm where Speed should've been. She sat up in the bed and switched on the light. Before getting up, she checked the clock sitting on the table next to the still ringing phone,_2:30._ Calleigh picked up the phone hesitantly , afraid of who was on the other end. She put it back down when she heard the dial tone. Immediately after she hung up, the phone began to ring again. She let it ring twice before she picked it up.

" Hello?"

" Caaaleigh," a voice said to her.

" Wh-who are you? What do you want?" Calleigh replied looking around the room._ Where is Tim,_ she thought frantically.

" Caalleigh, Caalleigh Caalleigh..." the eerie voice continued.

Calleigh screamed and snatched the phone out of the wall and threw it , splintering it against the wall. She got up and ran out of the bedroom , her gown flowing behind her. Her bare feet pounded on the hard wood floor of the bungalow as she got to the staircase. She descended the stairs , heading for the kitchen. As she crossed the living room, she saw the front door open slowly. Petrified, Calleigh stood there , shivering. She watched in the darkness as the figure approached her. Her mouth was open but sound was unable to come out. She was alone, and facing her nightmare...

TBC

I'm working on the next chapter... don't fret!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

State of Mind

Disclaimer: Same as before, they are never going to be mine. Mild language.

A/N: Okay, I kinda forgot that Calleigh had a cast on her ankle; let's just act like she had the cast taken off before they left( it kinda screws with the story somewhat). And away we go...

Chapter 5

Calleigh gained her bearings as the figure continued to advance on her , and grabbed the wooden figurine that was sitting on the coffee table. She attacked furiously, hitting him on the head. As she continued to land blow after blow all she could think of was the anger and fear that was holding her hostage. She didn't feel as someone came behind her and held her arm to prevent another blow.

" Calleigh! Stop, it's me , Tim," Speed said as he gently took the bloody figurine out of her hand. " What's gotten in to you? Why aren't you in bed?"

The lights came on in the living room, and Calleigh looked at her would be attacker. Lying on the floor, was Eric. Alexx had knelt down to tend to his head, that bore a deep gash on the hairline. Calleigh put her hand over her mouth to stifle a scream that threaten to surface.

" Th-the phone kept ringing..." Calleigh stammered as she watched Alexx clean his head. " There was this voice. You weren't around... I thought he was coming for me."

" Eric? Can you hear me?" Alexx said as she saw him coming to. She threw a comforting glance at Calleigh.

" Uhh– Wha- What happened? Ow!" Eric said as he tried to sit up.

" Easy, baby. You got a nasty cut on your head. Take your time," Alexx replied holding him by the shoulder.

" Calleigh, mistook you for an intruder, Eric," Horatio offered.

Calleigh moved to kneel down at Eric's side, but she optioned to go to her knees, knowing that it would be hard to get back up again. " I am so sorry, Eric. I haven't had the best of days lately."

" It's ok, Calleigh. I should've said something before I walked in, but I thought you would like the surprise of us being here for your wedding."

" Oh I am! I'm glad that you are all here. I just hope I can make it to tomorrow without killing someone," Calleigh said quietly.

Speed glanced at her slightly and then moved to help Eric to the couch. He then offered him more apologies as Horatio came over to sit down next to Eric.

" It doesn't look bad , Eric. You'll probably have a helluva headache in the morning," Horatio said lightly.

" I'm a big boy, I'll be fine," Eric said as he turned to Calleigh. " Really."

Calleigh fought the tears that were nagging at her eyes. Her fear had almost killed her friend. She exited the room quietly, leaving concerned faces. Horatio looked over to Speed and saw the anguish in his eyes. This ordeal wasn't just affecting Calleigh, but it was also taking it's toll on Speed as well.

" How long has she been like this , Speed?" Horatio asked.

" Since she's been out of the hospital. Her psychologist says that she has the beginnings of post traumatic stress disorder. He can't give her any medication because of the baby, so I've been trying to deal the best way I know how. But I gotta tell ya, it's wearing me down," Speed said sitting down next to Alexx on the other couch. " I love her too much, not to fight for her. So what ever I am going through, means nothing."

Alexx patted him on his leg, " Timmy, go make sure she's ok. We are fine."

Speed looked at Alexx and smiled. In the absence of his own mother, Alexx was always there to help him. He kind of felt like her adopted son, and he always appreciated her wise words. He got up and excused himself and ascended the stair case.

S/C

Calleigh stood in the hallway and listened to the conversation about her. She wiped the tears off of her face with the back of her hand and walked away as she heard Speed get up from the couch. She quickly got in bed as she heard the door knob turn. She pulled the comforter over her head and turned to face the wall.

" You know, you can't hide from me for long," Speed said as he laid next to her. Exhaustion was evident in his voice. He placed a hand on her side and advanced it until it was covering her belly. He then bent his head down to speak into her ear. " Calleigh, Delko's going to be fine. It was just a misunderstanding."

" Are you sure you want to marry a psycho like me?" Calleigh replied under the comforter. " I could've killed him. What happens if I wake up in the middle of the night and start to attack you?"

" I will announce myself."

"Tim, I'm serious. I don't want to do anything that will hurt you."

" You know something that will hurt?" Speed asked as he crossed over her gently. " If you don't marry me tomorrow."

Calleigh pulled the cover down and put a hand up to his face, feeling the familiar stubble. She inched her face towards him a small smile playing on her lips, " There is nowhere else I'd rather be tomorrow. If you 'll have me , I'll be there."

" Calleigh, I love you. I can't imagine my life without you in it," Speed said as he kissed her softly on the lips. Calleigh savored the kiss as he pulled back. " Now , you need to get some rest. Big day tomorrow."

Calliegh nodded in agreement and lifted her head so that he kissed her forehead. " Aren't you coming to bed?"

" I got to see to our guests, Cal. Don't worry, I'll be fine tomorrow," Speed said as he lifted the covers up onto Calleigh.

Calleigh smiled lightly and closed her eyes. She was in a slumber before Speed turned the light off and closed the door. She was getting married tomorrow.

TBC...

A/N: You think it will go ok?... hehheh...


	6. Chapter 6

State of Mind

Chapter 6

Calleigh awoke to laughing voices. It took her a while to remember what had happened, but when she did, she quickly grabbed her robe and headed down the stairs. Coming into the kitchen, she saw as Alexx, Horatio, and Eric were sitting in the breakfast nook having a cup of coffee. She saw as Eric was sporting a bandage where she had hit him. A pang of guilt hit her hard as she stepped into the kitchen. Alexx lifted her head up to see Calleigh walking.

" So sleeping beauty arises. Good morning," Alexx said putting her coffee down and walking to her. She gave Calleigh a hug then put a hand on her belly. " Is she doing ok , this morning."

Calleigh smiled and rubbed the side of her stomach, " Yes, she is doing well, and ready for something to eat. Where's Tim?"

Alexx shot a look at Eric who shot one to Horatio. Nobody wanted to tell Calleigh that Speed was following through with the item he found on the beach. The room held an awkward silence as Calleigh looked into the eyes of her friends. She knew that something was up.

" What's going on ? All of you look like you got caught red handed with your hand in the cookie jar," Calleigh said putting her hands on her hips. Her thick southern drawl encased her words, giving them a other worldly sound. " So , where is he?"

"Um, well Calleigh..." Horatio started as he heard the door open. To everyone's relief, Speed walked in with a white linen suit in a dry cleaning bag.

" Did, I interrupt something?" Speed asked as he stopped to stare at the scene.

" Where have you been, Tim?" Calleigh asked as she turned her glare to him. She knew that the team had something they didn't want to tell her and it was making her angry.

" Well, as you can see from the garments that I hold in my hand, I will say with positive indication that I was at the cleaners."

" You sure? Cause I asked about you and all of a sudden you can hear a pin drop. I hope you haven't been out getting into trouble ,Tim."

" What on my wedding day? I wouldn't think of it, honey. Speaking of which, are you supposed to be even talking to me?" Speed asked as he threw a cautious look to the others. " Something about it being bad luck."

Calleigh immediately ducked out of view from him and raced back upstairs.

" See you on the beach, Cal!" Speed called as the room erupted in laughter. As soon as he heard the door shut close, he dropped the smile and placed his garments on the couch. In his hands he held a print out from the local CSI. It was amazing the help he got from them by just showing his badge and ID .

" We have a problem. The item that I found on the beach had blood on it. I asked the local CSIs to run it through DNA and guess who pops up?"

" Don't tell me," Alexx said as she stood next to Speed.

" The one and only, Therrin Mackenzie," Speed said passing the print out around the table.

" This can't be right, Speed. You put at least eight rounds into him. He's supposed to be six feet."Eric said sending the print out to Horatio.

" It's there in black and white, Delko. The blood is Therrin's. But what's so odd is that when someone called, they said that they were a friend of Therrin and that they were coming to finish the job. Calleigh can't handle another incident. She's hanging on by a thread now."

" What's disturbing is that this guy followed you here. Have you been noticing anything out of the ordinary?" Horatio asked.

" No. Nothing. I don't want Calleigh to be worried. Not on our wedding day," Speed said as he took the print out from Horatio. He then walked over to the sink and lit a match, burning the paper. Calleigh wouldn't know.

" We will keep a look out for anything suspicious, Speed," Horatio said as he finished off his coffee. " This day will be special for both of you."

" I hope so," Speed said as he walked out. The remaining people in the room echoed his sentiment.

S/C

_two months later..._

" Tim!" Calleigh said as she rolled over in the bed. She felt something wet under her. When he didn't wake, she put a hand on his shoulder and shook it. " Tim? Tim? Wake up. My water broke."

In an instant, Speed snapped his head up and turned to look at Calleigh , sleep still in his warm brown eyes.

" It broke? When?"

" Just a moment ago. It's time to go, now," Calleigh said as she began to experience contractions.

Speed threw the covers across the bed and hit the floor running. He was glad that he hadn't unpacked Calleigh's bag when they got back from the Carribean. He grabbed his cell phone as Calleigh walked slowly to the bathroom. She couldn't go anywhere with this stuff on her. She quickly washed up as she timed the contractions. They were coming every fifteen minutes. Speed dialed Alexx's number first , knowing that she would get the other two to the hospital.

" Cal, hon. Come on, let's go. The bags are at the door," Speed said as he knocked on the bathroom door. He heard Calleigh call out in pain. " Calleigh, are you ok?"

" Yeah, it's just the contractions. I'm coming out."Calleigh returned.

She opened the door and took Speed's hand, " We're having a baby."

" Yes we are baby, and I would prefer if she was born in the hospital. You ready?"

" Ready as I'll ever be. Have you called Alexx?" Calleigh asked as she descended the stairs carefully. She felt another intense pain as it coursed through her body. The contractions were coming at a faster pace. Speed nodded , letting Calleigh know that he indeed called Alexx.

Getting Calliegh into the Tahoe, Speed got in and put the truck in reverse, flooring it.

" Tim, I would like to get there alive," Calleigh said as she breathed in deeply.

Speed ignored her and drove like a bat out of hell. He wove through traffic like a NASCAR driver on the last lap. In no time he had pulled up into the emergency room parking lot. He saw as Horatio and Eric were standing at the door with worried look on their faces. As the nurse came to transport her, Calleigh screamed out in pain.

" Mrs. Speedle, how far are the contractions?"

" They are close. Really close."Calleigh replied out of breath.

" Okay, we are going to get you up to the delivery room. It's been prepped for you. Mr. Speedle, you can follow me. Your friends will have to stay in the maternity ward waiting room," the nurse said as she wheeled Calleigh on the elevator.

" You guys know how to get to the maternity ward? " Speed asked as he boarded the elevator.

" We can manage, go!" Horatio said as he waved them off.

Speed smiled as the elevator doors swished closed.

S/C

"Come on Calleigh, you've got to push," the doctor said as he looked down. He looked back up to watch Calleigh's progress.

" I can't push any more," Calleigh said as tears dropped from her eyes. She had been in labor for almostthree hours, and it was excruciating. She held on to the bed linens to bear down against the pain.

" Honey, you can do this. Just one more push," Speed said as he offered his hand.

" Mr. Speedle I wouldn't do that if I were you," the doctor said as he noticed Speed grasp his wife's hand.

" Wha– ... Owwww. Calleigh, let go. Let go," Speed exclaimed as Calleigh had his hand in a death grip as she beared down again.

" I hate you Timothy! I hate what you did to me... Hurry up and get her out of there!" Calleigh said harshly.

" Good you can hate me, but please let go of my hand. I 'll need it later in life."

" You bastard! You don't know what pain is..." Calleigh said through clenched teeth.

" Calleigh come on ,bear down and give me one more push..."

" I can't..."

" Yes , you can... One ... Two... Three... PUSH!"

Calleigh gave one last push and shortly there after, the sounds of a baby crying filled the air. Speed watched silently as they took the tiny form to clean and weigh it.

" It's a girl. Congratulations, Calleigh and Tim." the doctor said as he observed the nurses working, " Ten fingers, ten toes, and a strong pair of lungs."

Speed grabbed Calleigh's hand with his good hand as they finished cleaning her. His eyes welled with happiness as they walked her over to them and placing the baby on top of Calleigh.

" Oh , Tim, she's gorgeous. She's got your curly hair," Calleigh said through the tears.

Speed bent down to look at his daughter and his wife big tears protruding out of his own eyes, " I love you, Calleigh. More than you will ever know."

" I love you, Tim. I didn't mean it when I said I hated you. Look at her, Tim. She's here! I can't believe she's here," Calleigh said softly.

" Mr. Speedle, you might want to get that looked at," the doctor said as he noticed his hand.

" I will, doc just as soon as..." Speed said as he heard the monitors all go off at the same time. The doctor stopped smiling and looked at Calleigh. She had loss conscienousness and her blood pressure was dropping. Tim saw an insane amount of blood as it dripped continuously on the floor. The nurses took the baby and placed her safely in a bassinet. The doctor ushered Speed out as he barked orders to his staff.

" What's going on, doc? ..."

" I don't know but you can't be in here. Please , Mr. Speedle . I need to help your wife."

Speed nodded as he saw the nurses take the baby out of the room, then he glanced at Calleigh as she laid on the bed, motionless. Her color had turned an ashen gray.

As the doors closed on him he heard the doctor say, " We need to hurry, we're losing her..."

TBC...

A/N: poor Calleigh can't catch a break...


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

State of Mind

Disclaimer: In the previous chapters. Mild language warning.

Chapter 7

Speed walked into the waiting room to face his friends. Something had gone horribly wrong after the birth of his daughter, and now the woman he loved more than life itself, was fighting for her life. It was evident to the others that something was wrong, and they gathered themselves around him. Alexx took him into an embrace as he let the tears fall.

" Timmy, what's wrong? Is the baby ok?" Alexx asked as she pulled away from him.

" Y-y-es the baby's fine , but..." Speed said as he became overcome with sobs again. Alexx did her best to calm him, but she feared that she was not.

" Speed, is there something wrong with Calleigh?"Horatio piped up. He moved in closer to Speed and Alexx.

Speed took a moment to gather himself and wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand. He sniffled as he tried to speak once more, " She had just given birth to this beautiful child... And just like that, she flat lined. The doctor couldn't tell me what was going on. I-I can't lose her, Alexx. Not now."

Alexx again pulled him closer to her and soothed him by saying, " And you won't . Tim, she's going to be fine. Tell me about my god daughter! Who does she look like and what are you going to name her?"

Speed let a small smile creep onto his face as he turned to look at his friends. He was glad that they were here.

" She's fine. She is healthy and she is beautiful. Cal- Calleigh said she has my curly hair," Speed said hesitantly.

" Name?" Eric asked throwing his friend a smile. " Erica maybe."

Speed gave a half chuckle and nodded his head, " Sorry Delko. We came up with a name while we were still in the Carribean. Kaitlyn Elizabeth Speedle. We like it for its simplicity. Katie for short."

Alexx laughed and hugged him tightly. She then noticed his hand.

" Timmy , what happened to your hand?"

" Calleigh grabbed it while she was in labor. I wasn't thinking straight. The doctor had told me not to do it , but before I knew it she had it in a death grip."

" Looks pretty bad, man. You need to go get it looked after," Eric said as he gestured to it.

" I'll get it looked after when I find out what's going on with my wife," Speed said .

" You'll go get it done now. The more you wait , the worse it's gonna be. You don't want to be out of work do you?" Horatio said as he looked Speed in the eyes.

" No, but I-I can't leave..."

" I'll stay here, Timmy. You go get your hand taken care of. Alright?" Alexx returned. Her demeanor had turned from comforter to authoritive in seconds flat.

Speed nodded his head in acknowledgment and started to the door. He really didn't want to leave , but he knew that they were right. He had to take care of himself in order to take care of the most important people in his life now.

S/C

The elevator doors opened silently and he got off, glancing in every direction noticing that the hallway was deserted. He smiled to himself and began to walk to the maternity ward. _This is just too easy,_ he thought. The nurses were off attending to their duties and he exploited the chance to get information.

"Calleigh Speedle, room 214," he said as he read the flow chart. " Just too easy."

He walked the corridor quietly until he got to the room he was looking for. Inside he could see her lying still in the bed, the only movement he saw was the steady motion of her chest rising and falling with each breath. He placed his hands on the door and turned the knob slightly. The door opened softly and he slipped in, closing the door behind him. The room held a faint glow of the television that was playing silently and the images danced across her face making him unhinged with happiness. He would finish what Therrin could not, he would take Calleigh.

Moving with purpose he crossed the room and came to rest next to her. He touched her skin, feeling the softness, and traced her face with his finger. _Something so beautiful,_ he remembered him saying. At the memory , he stopped tracing and grabbed the IV readying himself to snatch it out of her hand. A noise from the bathroom gave him pause and he moved quickly behind the curtain that divided the room. He saw as a woman opened the bathroom door and walked out. Her long dark hair swayed gently behind her as she turned to walk towards the bed. He studied the woman and admired her beauty. He hadn't come for her, and she threatened to spoil everything.

He inched out from the curtain slowly and reached into his pocket and brandished a small rope. He didn't want to kill this beautiful woman, but she stood between him and his purpose. He continued to walk twisting the rope around both hands, tightening his grip. His heart raced at his intentions and sweat started to bead on his brow. This would be his first kill .

As if hearing something , the woman turned to face him with horror in her eyes. He moved quickly, putting the rope around her neck as she tried to block with her hands. She struggled more and he tightened the grip, making bright red marks on his hands. When he felt her strength dwindling , he eased up on the rope and watched as she slid on to the floor, motionless. Panic arose in him and he stumbled over the her body, knocking over the water pitcher on the table. He then caught himself on the railing of her bed and heard a voice over the intercom; he had buzzed the nurses station.

" Yes?" the nurse said sweetly.

He stared at the button and stayed quiet. If he didn't answer , maybe they would forget about it.

" Mrs. Woods, is there anything you need?" the nurse asked, her voice beginning to betray her attempt at being civil.

He looked at the body on the floor and wondered if she was Mrs. Woods.

" Mrs. Woods?"she said simply. He heard the audible sigh of the nurse as she switched off the intercom. He figured he had a minute or less before they came down the corridor.

Opening the door to the room, he spied a laundry basket on the opposite wall. He grabbed the basket and pushed it inside. Diligently ,he took out the IV and lifted her off of the bed , placing her in the basket. He covered her with the sheets and pushed the basket into the hallway, closing the door behind him. The corridor had come to life within seconds and he held his head down as so not to be seen. He pushed the laundry basket to the freight elevator and heard as the nurses entered the room screaming at the sight of a body on the floor. Getting on the elevator, he chuckled to himself and pressed the button for the basement. It didn't go as planned, but he had her. Avery MacKenzie was going to finish what his brother had started.

TBC...


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

State of Mind

Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Not mine but I'm not mad about it...

A/N: Some clarification. Yes that was Alexx on the floor in the room, she was watching Calliegh until Speed came back. Hope it clears it up for you.

He took her limp hand into his and felt as the tears began to drop. It was unreal that she was lying on the slab. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Alexx wasn't supposed to be dead. All she wanted to do was help. Speed couldn't help but feel guilty about this; he didn't have to leave them, but his hand... The tears couldn't stop and soon they cut rivers down his face. It wasn't fair. Alexx was the closest thing that he had to a mother here in Miami, and he loved her for looking after him. Now she was gone.

" I'm so sorry , Alexx," Speed said to her as he stroked her cheek gently. He desperately wanted to hear her voice again. He sat in the morgue , lost in his grief for his fallen friend. He was unable to comprehend the news of Calleigh's disappearance, then came the word an hour later that Alexx was gone. It was almost too much to bear. He had come here to the morgue with nowhere else to go .Speed continued to sit in silence and didn't hear the double doors of the morgue as they swished open. He knew that Horatio was standing there, but he couldn't bring himself to look at him.

" Speed..." Horatio said softly , his voice cracking under the emotion. He tried not to glance at her stillness, for fear of the tears that were threatening to surface. " Her family's here. I've got to let them in."

Speed finally looked up at him, seeing the pain in his eyes, and was unable to hold off the fresh tears.

" I can't leave her, H." Speed said his voice thick with sadness. " It's my fault that she's here."

" Tim,..."Horatio said as the doors opened. He saw her husband as he gazed mournfully at his wife lying on the table.

Speed found the strength to get up and moved to embrace Peter. The tears flowed heavily as the two men held on to each other, the grief almost too much for either one of them to bear. Horatio turned and walked to the door, noticing Janie and Bryan standing to the side. The looks of disbelief permeated both of their innocent faces. It broke Horatio's heart.

" Janie, Bryan, you want to come to my office while your dad is here?" Horatio tried.

Janie looked up into his face, hers starting to contort in pain, " Can I say bye to my mom first, Horatio?"

Horatio shook his head lightly and gave a half smile, " Sure you can sweetie. Bryan , do you want to say goodbye?"

The little boy shook his head violently and began to cry. Both Speed and Peter glanced then walked to them. Speed knelt on his haunches and took both Janie and Bryan into his arms, and he held them as they released their sorrow . Peter looked down at his children and began to sob again, losing his balance and stumbling across a desk. Horatio grabbed him by the arm and led him out of the morgue. After the doors swished closed, Janie spoke softly, " I want to see her, Timmy."

Speed looked at her with sad eyes as she continued to stare at the slab. The sound of Alexx's pet name for him stung, " Are you sure, Janie?"

" Yes. I have to see her... one more time," Janie replied, emoting the strength that instantly reminded him of Alexx. Bryan had stood in the background not wanting to go to the table. He then turned around quickly and fled the room.

Speed saw as Horatio caught him in the hallway and led him to where his father was sitting. He then turned his attention back to the little girl in front of him who was trying to be so strong yet her youth still betrayed her. As she walked up to the slab, she let a sob escape before slapping a hand over her mouth. Speed placed a soft hand on her shoulder as she gazed at her mother through the tears. Janie couldn't look at her any longer and retreated into Speed's embrace, hugging him around the waist. After a moment, Janie turned to look at her again, this time she was composed.

" What are those marks around her neck, Tim?" Janie asked as she wiped the tears away.

Speed let a small smile escape from his lips as he pointed to the ligature marks made by the murder weapon. She was truly her mother's daughter, " She was strangled, Janie. Most likely with the rope that was recovered near her body." Speed composed himself again.

" Did she suffer? Did it hurt her?" Janie asked.

" No, not for long. She was losing oxygen fast and it was like she was falling into a deep sleep," Speed said lying. He knew that strangulation was not an easy death.

" She was watching Calliegh when she was killed right? Have you heard from the man that took her?" Janie asked with maturity beyond her 13 years.

Speed was unable to answer for a moment. In all of his grief for Alexx, Calliegh 's disappearance again was pushed into the back of his mind. He couldn't deal with both at the same time. But now as he stood in front of Janie, the fear crept into his mind. Who had murdered Alexx then took Calliegh? Where was Calleigh now? The questions swirled in his mind as he formed an answer for the little girl.

" No. But he left the rope and I'm sure we are going to be able to catch him with that," Speed replied faking the certainty of his statements. He didn't know what the rope would yield.

" All I ask of you Timmy, is that you catch this man and put him in jail for killing my mom," Janie said with no emotion. She reached a hand out to touch Alexx's face. " Her birthday was next week , you know. She was going to have big get together, and she was going to invite you and Calleigh and Uncle Horatio and Uncle Eric... But now..."

Speed took her into his arms again and held her as she let her soul pour out. He comforted her softly and gazed into Alexx's peaceful face. Her death would not be in vain. He would see to that.

S/C

With the news of Alexx's death , Eric had retreated into the lab. He knew that Alexx and Speed had a strong relationship and he let him grieve for her. He would process the evidence that was left at the scene. It was the only way that he could cope. He couldn't go to the morgue and see her lying on the table that she had worked over for many years. His place was here to find out who did this. The DNA results were sent to Valera and he now stood in her lab waiting for them. Valera glanced at Eric , unsure of what to say. She had known Alexx briefly, but she saw the tight nit relationship that the day shift CSI's had with the ME.

" Eric, I'm sorry to hear about..."

" It's okay, Maxine. I'm more worried about this sample. I wasn't able to get more than four swabs from it. It's the murder weapon."

" It only takes one , Eric," Valera replied as the report was coming out of the printer. She looked at it and handed it to Eric. Eric looked at it and did a double take. He then hurriedly thanked Valera for the test and ran out, leaving her speechless.

* * *

" H! I got the results back from the rope," Eric said as he caught up with Horatio in the corridor. Horatio turned quickly at the news and revealed that he had been crying. 

" Really? And?"

" It's a familiar. The DNA says that Therrin Mckenzie strangled Alexx with that rope. But we know that is impossible."

" Continue."

" The amiels point to a close relative. Very close, 95 percent." Eric said handing Horatio the report.

" He has a twin?" Horatio asked as he glanced over the report. " How did we miss this?"

" We didn't know much about Therrin and even less about his family. After getting the results I went and did a background check. Therrin's parents are deceased and he has only one sibling , an Avery Mckenzie. He worked at the hospital until almost seven months ago. Around the time that Calleigh was there. I snooped around some more and found a dismissal for harassment. One guess as to who it was..."

" Calleigh?"

" Yes. Noone 's seen him since. Until tonight. A house keeper saw him as he got off the freight elevator in the basement. He knew that Avery had gotten canned and he went to investigate. He saw as he took something out of a laundry basket and loaded it onto a van."

" Did he give a description?" Horatio asked as his two way crackled to life.

_" All units we have a black van that was linked to a possible murder and kidnaping, heading to the Biscayne parkway. Tag number LMN378. Suspect is to be considered A&D. Again ,suspect is considered to be armed and dangerous. Proceed with caution."_

Eric looked at the two way and replied, " That was the description. It's Avery."

Horatio flew into action, flipping his cell phone up then instructing Eric, " Get Speed and meet me at the Hummer. We've got a murderer to catch."

S/C

Avery saw the police cars as he sped through the red light heading to the Biscayne Parkway. He was eager to get Calleigh out of the city and in his haste he had made a big mistake. Knowing that he couldn't stop, he pressed his foot down on the gas and tried to out run them. He felt his heart beating violently in his chest and the pain that radiated from his left arm. He hadn't had time to get his medicine. The stress from killing that beautiful woman at the hospital had already started his heart to race and now he was leading the police on a car chase. He looked at Calleigh as she began to stir from the passenger seat, and thought to himself that it was worth it.

* * *

Horatio floored the Hummer and caught up with the chase effortlessly. As he neared the van , he saw as it began to swerve. Horatio radioed ahead to the road block to instruct them to ready the counter measures. Speed sat next to him in the passenger seat, his eyes fixed totally on the van. He was seething with anger as he saw the patrol men throw the counter measure onto the ground, then as the vans tires blew out. The sparks flew as it kept on going. Horatio jammed on the breaks before reaching the counter measures and got out of the Hummer. The van had finally come to rest a few hundred yards from where the tires had been blown. 

Horatio , Speed and a dozen patrol officers brandished their guns as they approached the van.

" Come out with your hands up!" Horatio ordered as he trained the gun on the van. He saw as Speed stepped up beside him, intensity burning in his eyes.

Movement from the van caught everyone's attention and the tension in the air was thick. Avery got out slowly and fell to the ground, holding his chest. With their guns still raised, Speed , Horatio and Eric moved in on him. Speed circled the van as Horatio and Eric checked Avery. He saw Calleigh lying in the front passenger seat. Opening the door, he looked into her face and smiled. Her eyes opened slowly and she spoke in a thick tongue, " Tim? Where am I?"

" On the Biscayne," Speed replied simply almost laughing at the sight of her. She was okay.

" I had a dream that Therrin came to get me. There was someone watching me... She was there to watch over me."

Speed hugged Calleigh tightly trying to hide the tears that were coming to his eyes. He knew that she was talking about Alexx. The sobs wracked his body so much that it alarmed Calleigh.

" Tim, honey, what's wrong?"

" I'm just glad that you're okay," Speed lied. He was weeping because Alexx's murderer had been caught, and he had kept his promise to a certain 13 year old.

A/N: The epilogue is next...


	9. Chapter 9

Epilogue

The day was beautiful as the wind blew in off of the Atlantic. The sky was clear blue and the famous Miami heat was curiously missing. As the processional snaked it's way through the streets of Miami, Tim gazed out of the Hummer. He thought about the things that he would miss about her; the talks, the advice the attention. A tear had dropped on to his hand and Calleigh reached over to grasp it. He looked at her and smiled lightly and returned the gesture. When he had told Calleigh of Alexx's death, Calleigh had taken it hard. She was unable to sleep for days afterwards and her appetite was gone. But she had come out of it and was going to stand by her husband.

At the grave side, Tim sat with Alexx's family in front of the casket. He stared at the flag draped casket and let his tears drop again. Calleigh grabbed his hand and squeezed it as she too stared at the casket. As the detail folded the flag, he heard others weeping quietly behind him. This was untimely and she would be missed by those who she affected. The flag was presented to Peter and he held a steady gaze as the detail readied for the twenty one gun salute. As the rounds were being fired, Tim jumped slightly and felt as his tears raced down his face.

After the service was concluded, Tim stood at the head of the casket as everyone else started for the cars. Horatio, Eric and Calleigh watched him from afar, letting him have his time to say goodbye.

" Alexx," Tim said softly, " I am so sorry that you are no longer here. I should've been more careful. I shouldn't have put you in that situation... I miss you so much. You have been there for me when I had no one else." Tim said as he wiped the tears from his eyes. " We caught the bastard that did this to you, but the damnest thing, he kicked the bucket. Had a heart attack as Delko was reading him his rights. Ironic isn't it?" Tim let a smile flash on his face as he continued. " Calleigh is doing fine, so is your god daughter. I persuaded Calleigh to rename her, in honor of you. She's Alexxandria Kaitlyn Speedle, and when she grows up she'll know where she got that strong name. I will keep an eye out on Peter and the kids for you... Alexx , rest well." Tim said as he touched the casket. He then knelt down slightly and kissed the polished mahogany. " Good bye."

Tim hestiated to leave , but then turned to walk towards the remaining members of his family. He felt as the cool breeze whipped around his face, caressing it. As he walked to the Hummer, he could swear that he heard her say, " I'll miss you too, Timmy."

He smiled faintly and got in. She did not die , not in Tim's heart.

The End

A/N: I apologize for killing our beloved Alexx... I promise it will never happen again. Hope you enjoyed the story!


End file.
